Husbands stress wives ten times more than children, according to studies
Each relationship, and each family, is a world unto themselves. The adults in an ideal functional family should support and contribute equally to the children’s upbringing. However, we know that in many circumstances, reality varies from theory, and that in many families, the woman continues to bear the brunt of the household’s responsibilities, including child education.
As a result, it’s not surprising that a survey of more than 7,000 moms in the United States found that husbands cause 10 times more stress than children. According to 46% of the women questioned, their relationships contribute to their stress levels more than their children.
Mothers’ expectations that haven’t been fulfilled
Some of the women questioned even claimed that their spouses did “more work” for them than their children. Others said that while children did not cause them as many headaches, their partners’ juvenile behaviors made them feel quite uncomfortable.
On the other hand, several people claimed that their partners didn’t do enough to help them with home duties, leaving them with little free time. There were also many who pointed out that marriage is difficult in and of itself because of the daily work necessary.
Without a doubt, not everyone is fortunate enough to have a caring partner with whom they can share chores and children’s education. Expectations, on the other hand, are likely to have a significant impact on these results. We could expect a child to throw a tantrum and be prepared to handle it, but we don’t expect an adult to act like a child. We might expect a child to not comprehend certain things, but we expect our partner to understand.
When someone, who might be a man or a woman, fails to satisfy those expectations, we are not just dissatisfied, but extremely disappointed. Those bad feelings might add to daily stress and be the final straw that breaks the camel’s back.
Dads believe they do enough and want to be recognized for it
Surprisingly, half of 1,500 parents questioned by the same researchers acknowledged to sharing child care with their partner in another study. Surprisingly, 75 percent of the 2,700 mothers surveyed stated they handled nearly everything on their own.
Many of the parents admitted to feeling betrayed since they believed they had a secondary role in the family. Two-thirds of the parents said they’d want to be recognized for their efforts and work on occasion, if just with a few words of encouragement.
This study reveals that communication and expectations are issues in many families. Some fathers believe they do enough and are underappreciated, but mothers say this is not the case.
Who is guilty?
Leaving aside cases where one parent is truly not involved enough in their children’s upbringing, the truth is that being a parent is stressful, and it is often easier to blame the other adult for our bad mood or failure to handle the daily agenda.
Maintaining a relationship involves a significant amount of effort, and women frequently place unreasonable demands on themselves, trying to be great mothers, spouses, daughters, and friends. The pressure to please everyone eventually takes its toll.
However, it is critical to identify the source of that discontent because it will have a long-term impact on the couple’s relationship. In fact, various studies have discovered that a stressful marriage with continual arguments is just as hazardous for heart health as smoking and raises the risk of cardiovascular disease in both men and women. A recent study of 300 Swedish women discovered that when they have disagreement in their marriage, their risk of suffering a heart attack increases by three times.
What is the solution?
Nine out of 10 couples admit that their relationship has deteriorated since having their first kid. In any case, communication must flow in both ways at all times to prevent one of the two members from becoming overburdened with chores and becoming overly stressed. As a result, whether you’re a father or a mother, you should:
- When you need anything, ask your partner for it. Expect him or her to not be able to read your thinking.
- You don’t have to take on all of the responsibilities, and you don’t have to prove anything to anyone. It’s typically enough to show your children affection every day.
- Discuss your anxieties, insecurities, and dissatisfactions with your partner. They will become closer as a result of this.
- Without recriminations, make it clear what you expect from your relationship.