Boyfriend is angry with girlfriend because she wanted only her name on the house she bought
Every relationship revolves around money. If a couple wants to grow stronger together, they must discuss finances honestly. When two individuals support one other and their ambitions – whether financially or emotionally – relationships are at their finest. In this Reddit story, however, this is not the case.
Narrative
On Reddit’s AITA (Am I the A**hole?) forum, a user who has since deleted her account asked the community whether she did the right thing by refusing her boyfriend’s request to put her house on both of their names. Here’s her issue:
“I (22F) and my bf (25M) have been together for about 4 years. We started living together 2 years ago in an apartment and it’s been great! I recently got a new job and make around $80k a year and have been wanting to get out of our apartment and into a house. My bf on the other hand doesn’t have a very good work ethic and has had about 8 different jobs in the 4 years we have been together, all making minimum wage. I brought up getting a house and he was totally on board with it so we started house hunting.”
“I have enough in my savings for a down payment and to cover all the closing cost but my boyfriend doesn’t have any saving and lives paycheck to paycheck. We currently split our rent 50/50 and he pays his bills (car payment, insurance, etc.) on his own and I pick up all the groceries, wifi, dog stuff. I’m totally fine with the fact I pick up more expenses since I make more than him and he’s never complained. When we were looking for a house we kept the price range small enough to where I could pay for it alone so we could use his earrings as extra cash. But we agreed to split the mortgage 50/50 (which would be cheaper than our current rent) and I would pay the water, electric, home insurance, etc.”
“We finally found our dream house and are going to be signing the papers in a couple weeks. I mentioned to him that I would like to be the only name on the home since we are buying it with my savings and we aren’t married and don’t plan to be married anytime soon. He is now upset with me about it bc it’s supposed to be “our house”. I’ve told him that it is OUR house but legally it will just me mine bc I don’t want to put $400k on the line. He said that if it’s just going to be my house that he shouldn’t have to pay to live there. I disagree, it would be like paying rent anywhere else and when/if we get married we will change the agreement. He hasn’t talked to me for 3 days now and I really don’t think I’m in the wrong here. So AITA?”
Answers
The community rallied to her defense almost immediately. She did the proper thing, according to everyone. NTA stands for “Not the A**hole” in this context. The following are some of the most popular responses:
ollygollymolly kept it simple and to the point:
“NTA. Do NOT put his name on the paperwork.”
CrisirR wrote:
“NTA. Rationally you’re right, but your playing with his emotions when call his contributions as ‘mortgage’. Of course he’s going to expect to have equity in the house if you put it on those terms.”
“Don’t put his name on the deed, that’s just ridiculous. DO NOT co-own a house with someone you are not married to. Live separately for while so he’ll understand his place in that living arrangement (meaning he’ll be paying RENT to live in your house, not helping you pay mortgage).”
farmerben02 told the following tale about her daughter:
“No, NTA. my daughter is going through the same scenario, she is buying the house and charging him rent that covers about 40% of the mortgage. He was a bit mopey about it but has no savings and makes a third of what she does. She told him he can rent from her or find his own place. So proud of her for putting herself first.”
There are almost 2.4k comments on this post, which you can read on Reddit here.
