Children need their parents to be well, they don’t need their parents to be together
And by this I mean that things will not be perfect simply because they are all together; it is pointless for children to live in the same house if all they witness are conflicts.
Separations are never easy on the partner, the family, or the children. There are numerous reasons for divorce, but it is never the fault of the children, who, regrettably, are the last to be considered.
Even though they are young, they recognize when things are not going well at home, they can notice their father’s absence, and they resent their mother’s emotions about it by throwing more tantrums or becoming more attached.
A split is not for less if we were mature enough as a couple to make decisions jointly to form a family. Because there is now someone engaged, it necessitates the same convictions, talks, and agreements, if not more.
A child will know how to deal with the situation; it will take some time for him to accept that things have changed, but things will be OK if he always sees his parents well, that he can live with both of them in a healthy environment, free of arguments.
The best way is to talk to them all at once and explain the situation to them; prevent the children from seeing who is leaving home and taking their belongings, as this may cause them distress; and say goodbye with a hug and tell them when they will see each other again, so that they do not feel abandoned.
When a child witnesses domestic violence, he is vulnerable to major emotional and psychological harm, even in children as young as 1 or 2 years old, because the conflicts remain in the unconscious of the children and can be seen in their behaviour years later.
Children who have witnessed and been exposed to parent-child fights grow more aggressive, reclusive, unhappy, respond with screams, or become easily upset in stressful situations, and learn that the only way to settle problems is to fight.
It is preferable for children to have a good relationship with their parents because it gives them confidence that things will be alright even if they are separated.
If they stay together but have a negative relationship, it will only lead to doubt, anxiety, and pain.
