How to spot a frenemy?
Calling off a friendship is quite complex and tricky. An uncomfortable task, even if it wasn’t working, friendships tend to lurk around due to inertia, proximity, or a shared history. However, friendships, just like your typical relationship, can be harmful, annoying, or toxic. And sometimes, they need to end. What we’re talking about here is referred to as “Frenemy,” a portmanteau of both “friend” and “enemy.” But the question is: how do you know if you have one right now? You need not worry; we’ll show you some of the signs to look out for as far as frenemy is concerned in this piece.
They always need something from you.
If you have a friend who’s always asking for favors, both little and huge, then it’s time to think deeply about your relationship with that person. Lending support is a sign of a healthy relationship, but when the support becomes one-sided and constant (can you pay for breakfast? Can I get a few bucks from you? Can you help me pack my furniture in?), these could be a red flag. So stop being “that good friend,” show up and ask that others do the same.
- They gossip, mostly about you.
As far as gossiping is concerned, most of us aren’t saints. But there’s an abnormal level to this. Speaking of level, there has to be a certain level of trust in any relationship to maintain closeness. So, if your friend is saying trash behind you or spreading rumors about things you said or didn’t say to them – or untrue things they made up, this right here is a clear sign that they don’t care about you or the bond you share.
- Their emotional needs often outweigh yours.
Friendship shouldn’t be one-sided – it’s meant to be about mutual support, though trouble comes when their emotional needs to support them are at the detriment of other relationships. You’ll know when you start to drop everything you treasure to comfort them – it always has to outweigh yours. A terrible friend reminds you that whenever you have needs of your own, you aren’t hopelessly insensitive and self-indulgent, but you’re being insensitive and mean to them “far more pressing needs.”
- They are passive-aggressive
“It’s so fascinating how you brought deviled eggs to the party,” they might say this passively in front of a group of friends. They are like one of the cheaper things you could make, but not to worry; they can taste decent if you know how to make them properly.” This type of behavior can be embarrassing and hurtful. The solution? Just remember that it isn’t about you. The happier you are with you and your life, the easier it will be to see them for what they are – sad souls.
- Passing off cruel criticism as helpful feedback
There’s a huge difference between telling someone a complex but helpful bit of truth and criticizing honestly to provoke the other person. They are casually cruel in the name of being honest. The truth is, I don’t have a lot of friends. But I’m okay with that. Nowadays, friends do the same things enemies do. I’m Good.
